So the other night I went to a wine tasting at The Wine Steward here in our town of Pleasanton along with Gordon and our newly 21 year old daughter, Natalie. It was Natalie's first Wine Steward tasting which consists of 12 to 14 tables of different wine vendors pouring at least 3 or 4 wines each, both whites and reds. Obviously you don't try to taste all wines at all tables though historically Gordon and I have given it a good shot!!! It's a really good way for a young taster to learn about wines; the pleasure of wines; which wine to pour with what course, etc. Is there anything inherently wrong with that? Unless you are a strict Baptist or perhaps Mormon or ........what ? unhappy human? I don't see anything wrong with learning about wines. They make us happy and life more.....fulfilling? Wine = happy. Maybe I'm wrong....I'm ready to stand corrected so offer up your best argument please.
Anyway, we joined into the group tasting and talking to the people who generously poured and those that generously enjoyed tasting. Generally speaking a very happy time. Could there be a better industry to work in? I just can't figure it.
So I happened upon a woman that I knew I knew but hadn't seen in a very long time. She looked different. Possibly she had aged. Haven't I? Of course! I could tell she recognized me.....sort of. Does she notice a difference in me? Who is this person? Hmmmmmm.
Taste, taste, taste. Hmmmmmm. I know this woman.
Toward the end of our 15 tables of tasting.....by the way, we decided to taste only whites with the occasional red...okay or two.....I figured out who this woman was and when the last time I had seen her. At a Wine Steward tasting at least two years ago. She is the mother of a girl our oldest daughter, Jillian, had graduated with. Her lovely daughter, Jessica, was a cheerleader at the girls high school; very popular, beautiful, outgoing, entered a good university; tons of friends; totally promising future.
So, "Hi! How are you (can't remember her name)? Oh my gosh so good to see you. Yeah, you remember me our daughter was Jillian.....No this is her sister Natalie. How is your daughter Jessica right?" Jessica is apparently good. She has stopped dating her newish boyfriend her parents didn't like and is back with her old boyfriend who her parents DO like and is living back at home. Yeah. So happy. Wow. Alrighty. Apparently dating is important and she spoke at length about Jessica's dating highlights with the old and new-old boyfriend. Oh and after much talk of boyfriends I finally found out that Jessica is a cheer leading coach at the local middle school and is also free-lance coaching children for cheer leading too making $35/per half hour of tutoring. She also indicated that she would rather her daughter work and live at home than be one of these girls that needs to marry for money. What? What? Is that even supposed to be a part of logical thinking? Really? Did I mention that her daughter is almost 25?
Really?
Is there anything that strikes you as strange about that conversation? And, okay.....how about asking about my daughter? Living and working on her editing career in Manhattan.
Alright so I'm bitching. I don't get these mothers who are only interested in who of the opposite sex is interested in their son/daughter like that is the only thing important in life. Is that the only thing important in life? I don't think so. I think these people are living through their children. Obsessing about who they could have been if only they were more athletic; beautiful; popular........In this day and age these parents actually still hang onto their own old ideals and perhaps promote these ideas in their own children. Do they feel more important? potent? successful as parents based on who their child dates? I don't know. Every parent has a right to be proud of their child no matter what they do. My ideals are just different. I know that statement is true for all parents. Judge, judge. Stop it Sharon.
Natalie went to New York last week to "hang out" with her big sister and enjoy the pleasures of Manhattan in the Spring. Living large and happily enjoying the success of completing her junior year of college with good grades and living on her own with two female roommates; yes, she has a nice boyfriend, who her parents like mind you, but who she could live without; enjoying her girlfriends AND her family. While in New York, Natalie spent time observing life in Central Park; an afternoon at the Met; strolling the streets and shops of Soho where Jillian works; The Empire Hotel for drinks; Sleep No More (which everyone should check out....it looks fascinating), and generally being a New Yorker in the rain.
This week we are in Southern Cal......Natty participating in an Animation Workshop (or bootcamp) for the week. Me hanging out in Laguna Beach with an old friend, Howard, and then a visit with my former husband, Jim. Anyway, Natalie is enjoying an exciting summer doing interesting things.
Alison departed California today to move to Manhattan and room-up with her sister, Jillian, on the Upper West Side and attend Hunter College beginning in late August switching majors from Environmental Science to Film. This is a huge transition for Alison but one we definitely think she is ready for. The girls got a lot of confidence. She actually reminds me of, well, me! Sometimes you just have to break-away from the old and venture into the new. She's doin' it!! I have a trip planned the beginning of August to go see both girls and spend a little time with them.
So each of our daughters is off on their life adventure. Seeking fame and fortune but most of all contentedness and happiness with who they are. Gordon and I have always wanted our girls to work on themselves; their careers and the joys and adventures of travel....though they haven't been able to do too much of that throughout their college careers. I want more for my children than a nice boyfriend. I want them to have successful, happy careers that last a lifetime. A reason to wake up each morning and be excited about each and every day. A way to support themselves and their own I N D E P E N D E N C E !
Hopefully Jessica is excited too - coaching and encouraging young women toward their dreams. Big or small. We all need a coach who believes in us. We all need a career which enhances our lives. Even those of us who simply ended up being moms. Just moms. Which can be the most exciting career on earth right?
Certainly it was(is) challenging......now where's my glass of red? oh, and that sea-salt chocolate bar?
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Roll The Dice
KISMET (an extraordinary or unusual thing)
SERENDIPITY (good fortune; luck)
KARMA (fate; destiny)
I've been thinking a lot about marriage these past few weeks. About what a gamble it is. You know the person, you respect and love them and, hopefully, lust after them. Do you ever really know them, I mean really really know them? Does anyone ever really know anyone?
In the press you hear all the time about couples who were seemingly happily married and then the guy ends up killing the wife and burning up the children. Or, oh gee, she drowned while scuba diving even though I was supposed to be her buddy.....not to mention PARTNER FOR LIFE! Or how about, I don't know what happened on our honeymoon, he just fell overboard I guess? I'd say those people all rolled the dice and, well, lost. As they walked down the aisle I'm sure they didn't think that. So really, aren't all marriages inherently a gamble?
Gordon and I laid our hearts on the line 25 years ago. It was a gamble for sure. He hadn't even been in the country 24 months and 24 months prior to my meeting and marrying him, I was married to a different person! Our story involves kismet, serendipity, karma and just plain old "lady luck"! After all Gordon moved to the States and happened to move to California and end up working in the same little town as me working in the same real estate office. I moved from Virginia 7 years prior and moved to that same little town and real estate office after Gordon started working there. Isn't that a long way and a lot of life in between for us to meet? Is that karma or what?
When we married 25 years ago I was 5 months pregnant with Jillian and we had only been together slightly longer than a year. We gambled our lives to be together and to raise the child together. The odds were two hearts for one. It paid well!
I woke at 5:25 a.m. this past Friday to prepare and leave the house at 6:15 to fly to Hawaii with Gordon to celebrate our lives together. A quick trip to the airport, courtesy of our friends Ken and Tom, and we were awaiting our flight within 30 minutes of our arrival. A good yet uneventful flight with an extra seat to boot found us landing safely in beautiful Maui just a short 5 hours later. And, midsize rental in Gordon's hand, we made our way around Iao the Needle through the valley and out to the west coast of Maui on our way to Ka'anapali.
We stopped in La Haina for a bite to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise. We were seated at an open window overhanging the water with a spectacular view of Lanai. Little Hermit Crabs were running quick-as-a-rabbit from the surf and diving into their little holes. Humpback whales were frolicking in the narrow and shallow channel between the two islands and a gentle breeze lifted our hair ever so slightly as we sat and pondered the week ahead. Mahi-Mahi fish and chips and iced tea refreshed us and we moved on to a bit of grocery shopping and check-in at the Maui Ocean Club.
Gosh it's beautiful here. The grounds and plantings are so well cared for. The staff is very professional and wanting and willing to help in any way. The Villa's were recently re-carpeted and decorated with new furnishings and the bed is SO DAMN COMFORTABLE! And of course the Chi-Chi's and view are to die for!!!!
So what is there to do other than unpack and head to the beach? Which is what we did. I love watching the sun set behind Lanai. The grey's and pinks are lovely with the lighted evening cruise boats sliding by in the foreground. It's hard to tear your eyes away.
We made a quick meal out of a bit of rotisserie chicken and organic field greens purchased earlier with a glass of chardonnay and had a short evening. That two hour time difference gets you that first night and it was early to bed for us.
Saturday, our anniversary, we were up early, coffee (Pete's) and breakfast in our rooms and off for a 5 mile walk along the beach path to the Embassy Suites and back. It's such a great flat walk and Gordon's new sport brace is definitely better than his first ACL brace so we actually kept up a good pace. As we started out it was just a tiny bit sprinkling rain and we noticed that all the grounds and pavement were wet from an apparent shower earlier. But as we walked the clouds spaced out and the sun broke through on what was a beautiful day.....another day in paradise!
We spent the day on lounge chairs soaking up the sun, chatting about our lives together and listening to music on our Ipods. Gordon made sandwiches from our room and brought them down to where I rotissered on my lounge chair. He went to the gym and rode a stationary bike and lifted weights - all part of his knee rehab and I managed to mosey over to a hammock and lounge some more before going up to prepare for our dinner.
Gordon had made reservations at Roy's which, by the way for all you fans of Roy's in Maui, has moved to the Ka'anapali Golf Club building in place of the old Rusty Harpoon right at the entry into Ka'anapali. So for us it was walkable. After showers and cocktails in our room we walked over and had a fabulous meal or Swordfish encrusted in macadamia nuts for me and lemongrass Mahi-Mahi for Gordon. We shared many toasts, reminisced and even had a few tears glisten in our eyes. For our "silver" anniversary Gordon gave me a fabulous Lois Hill bangle bracelet.....my gift to him was a bit more intimate and we won't speak of it! Suffice it to say, after all these years, I still know what he likes!
We have had such an enjoyable first 2 days here. We are up early this morning and heading out for our 5 miles. It's supposed to be clear and sunny today.....again, oh darn! Today I think we'll "gamble" on the beach!
SERENDIPITY (good fortune; luck)
KARMA (fate; destiny)
I've been thinking a lot about marriage these past few weeks. About what a gamble it is. You know the person, you respect and love them and, hopefully, lust after them. Do you ever really know them, I mean really really know them? Does anyone ever really know anyone?
In the press you hear all the time about couples who were seemingly happily married and then the guy ends up killing the wife and burning up the children. Or, oh gee, she drowned while scuba diving even though I was supposed to be her buddy.....not to mention PARTNER FOR LIFE! Or how about, I don't know what happened on our honeymoon, he just fell overboard I guess? I'd say those people all rolled the dice and, well, lost. As they walked down the aisle I'm sure they didn't think that. So really, aren't all marriages inherently a gamble?
Gordon and I laid our hearts on the line 25 years ago. It was a gamble for sure. He hadn't even been in the country 24 months and 24 months prior to my meeting and marrying him, I was married to a different person! Our story involves kismet, serendipity, karma and just plain old "lady luck"! After all Gordon moved to the States and happened to move to California and end up working in the same little town as me working in the same real estate office. I moved from Virginia 7 years prior and moved to that same little town and real estate office after Gordon started working there. Isn't that a long way and a lot of life in between for us to meet? Is that karma or what?
When we married 25 years ago I was 5 months pregnant with Jillian and we had only been together slightly longer than a year. We gambled our lives to be together and to raise the child together. The odds were two hearts for one. It paid well!
I woke at 5:25 a.m. this past Friday to prepare and leave the house at 6:15 to fly to Hawaii with Gordon to celebrate our lives together. A quick trip to the airport, courtesy of our friends Ken and Tom, and we were awaiting our flight within 30 minutes of our arrival. A good yet uneventful flight with an extra seat to boot found us landing safely in beautiful Maui just a short 5 hours later. And, midsize rental in Gordon's hand, we made our way around Iao the Needle through the valley and out to the west coast of Maui on our way to Ka'anapali.
We stopped in La Haina for a bite to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise. We were seated at an open window overhanging the water with a spectacular view of Lanai. Little Hermit Crabs were running quick-as-a-rabbit from the surf and diving into their little holes. Humpback whales were frolicking in the narrow and shallow channel between the two islands and a gentle breeze lifted our hair ever so slightly as we sat and pondered the week ahead. Mahi-Mahi fish and chips and iced tea refreshed us and we moved on to a bit of grocery shopping and check-in at the Maui Ocean Club.
Gosh it's beautiful here. The grounds and plantings are so well cared for. The staff is very professional and wanting and willing to help in any way. The Villa's were recently re-carpeted and decorated with new furnishings and the bed is SO DAMN COMFORTABLE! And of course the Chi-Chi's and view are to die for!!!!
So what is there to do other than unpack and head to the beach? Which is what we did. I love watching the sun set behind Lanai. The grey's and pinks are lovely with the lighted evening cruise boats sliding by in the foreground. It's hard to tear your eyes away.
We made a quick meal out of a bit of rotisserie chicken and organic field greens purchased earlier with a glass of chardonnay and had a short evening. That two hour time difference gets you that first night and it was early to bed for us.
Saturday, our anniversary, we were up early, coffee (Pete's) and breakfast in our rooms and off for a 5 mile walk along the beach path to the Embassy Suites and back. It's such a great flat walk and Gordon's new sport brace is definitely better than his first ACL brace so we actually kept up a good pace. As we started out it was just a tiny bit sprinkling rain and we noticed that all the grounds and pavement were wet from an apparent shower earlier. But as we walked the clouds spaced out and the sun broke through on what was a beautiful day.....another day in paradise!
We spent the day on lounge chairs soaking up the sun, chatting about our lives together and listening to music on our Ipods. Gordon made sandwiches from our room and brought them down to where I rotissered on my lounge chair. He went to the gym and rode a stationary bike and lifted weights - all part of his knee rehab and I managed to mosey over to a hammock and lounge some more before going up to prepare for our dinner.
Gordon had made reservations at Roy's which, by the way for all you fans of Roy's in Maui, has moved to the Ka'anapali Golf Club building in place of the old Rusty Harpoon right at the entry into Ka'anapali. So for us it was walkable. After showers and cocktails in our room we walked over and had a fabulous meal or Swordfish encrusted in macadamia nuts for me and lemongrass Mahi-Mahi for Gordon. We shared many toasts, reminisced and even had a few tears glisten in our eyes. For our "silver" anniversary Gordon gave me a fabulous Lois Hill bangle bracelet.....my gift to him was a bit more intimate and we won't speak of it! Suffice it to say, after all these years, I still know what he likes!
We have had such an enjoyable first 2 days here. We are up early this morning and heading out for our 5 miles. It's supposed to be clear and sunny today.....again, oh darn! Today I think we'll "gamble" on the beach!
 |
| Relaxing in anticipation of sunset. |
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| The Maui Ocean Club. |
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| Sheraton Black Rock in the distance. |
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| Sunset in glasses....very original eh? Haha |
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| Sunset and cloud action. |
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| Our new camera has a panoramic mode! Cool. |
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| The many flowers of Hawaii! |
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| On our way to Roy's. |
Friday, January 27, 2012
Fill in The Blank Friday!
I got this off my daughter's Blogspot. Don't know if this is an every Friday occurrence now but it looked a wee bit fun.
1. My favorite place I've ever traveled to is .....This is a toss up between Venice, Italy and Paris, France. To hard to choose between!
2. Bruges, St. Petersberg, Austria and Switzerland are some places I'd love to go someday.
3. I pass the time on a plane (or bus, or car ride or train) by blogging on the computer, reading my Kindle, watching a movie or listening to my IPOD.
4. My three must-haves when I travel are Kindle , my headphones and lipstick.
5. My favorite travel companion is my husband!
6. The craziest thing that ever happened to me while traveling is the first time arriving in Mexico City a guy who said he was a cab driver grabbed our bags and started walking toward what he said was a cab but it was out of the airport area across a busy roadway. We finally grabbed our bags from him and ran back to the airport and the safety of a controlled cab lane. Other option is the entire 4 hours we spent in Casablanca not long after 9/11. As Americans we didn't feel very liked.
7. The most exotic food I've ever tried while traveling is bulls balls in Mexico but I didn't know what it was until after I ate it! Ugh!
8. If I could live anywhere else, I'd live in .....can't imagine living anywhere else but California.
9. I have been to _______________states in the U.S. Easier to say which states I haven't been to. From Idaho and through the Dakotas and Minnesota and Wisconsin and I haven't been to Alaska, Maine, Alabama and Nebraska and Vermont. That's it.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Surviving The Teen Years
As if being a teenager isn't horrible enough, throw a divorce, a couple of evictions, moving homes numerous times, busing and a change of schools 3 times into the mix and see how your kid turns out!
In 1969, after Dad moved out of the house, everyone started to re-adjust to the household and school routine and we found a new kind of normalcy. It was early 9th grade for me and I'd just come off a two-year low-point teenager stint. Let me explain.
Integration started in Arlington County at Stratford Junior High in 1959 when four black students were integrated in to the all white Stratford. At the time I was four and by 1963 there were still two Arlingtons, the well-to-do, predominantly white North Arlington and the less prosperous, racially mixed South Arlington. There were few students of color in my North Arlington elementary school, in fact, I can't think of one. The Arlington Public Schools were slowly being segregated and, as I told you in an earlier blog I left my elementary school, which was called Henry Clay, after 6th grade in 1967. Some kids from my school, including me, were bussed to south Arlington to go to 7th grade at Hoffman Boston Junior High. Hoffman-Boston was a run down school which relied on discarded books from the white schools. At one time this was the only option for black students in Arlington, who had to attend "colored" schools. It was a pretty scary environment for a very young and naive "white girl" from north Arlington.
I'm not a racist, never have been and never will be. I believe in the family of mankind. The community we were bussed to was not welcoming....can you blame them? I was scared everyday I went to school. I witnessed people getting beat up regularly; money being taken off kids who brought lunch money to school; personal belongings being stolen right off a person; scared teachers who were helpless to defend us and themselves; and molestation all the time. I had a class in the basement of the school where you had to go down this back staircase to get to the classroom and everyday this same group of black kids were waiting there for me and everyday they would touch me in some offensive manner. I don't blame them or hold them a grudge...I feel differently about the school district and their parents however. These kids were reacting to the situation.
Sounds fun huh? My mediocre grades dropped off. I found it difficult to concentrate and I was terribly unhappy. All those kids I had been to school with since kindergarten had been divided up and sent to different schools. Some of my old friends went with me and some didn't. I just remember it as a very lonely time. I felt like a little girl going to school with strangers and kids who were much bigger and older than me. Some of the guys I saw at Hoffman Boston had whiskers for God sakes and the girls had breasts and their periods! Believe it or not, I wouldn't get my period until 10th grade! But that's a story for another time.
So that was 7th grade. In 8th grade we went to a different school in south Arlington called Thomas Jefferson Junior High School....a former "all white" Junior High. I would be there for 8th and 9th grade. Things improved a bit when I went there. It was more "normal" (whatever that was) and the black/white integration was a little more balanced at TJ though the school was not without racial conflict. I saw some pretty beaten up white boys at TJ with broken noses, broken bones and stitches. Lots of black eyes and bruises.
At home our new schedule with Dad was that Shirley and I, being under the age of 18, could have dinner with him one night a week and see him on the weekend on a Saturday or Sunday. Dad moved into an apartment in Old Town Alexandria about 10-15 minutes away. It was a very small studio or one bedroom apartment I don't really remember. The apartment had a tiny kitchen and bath. It wasn't too long after my parents split that my mother invited my sister to move in with "her Dad" too. I believe there was a discussion over a slightly missed curfew on Sandy's part and so she got "the boot". So with Sandy on a cot, Sandy and Dad had taken up new digs in Old Town. I missed Sandy. She and I were very close and taking her away was just another blow to my fragile state of mind.
There wasn't a lot of love around the Barton Street house for Dad. Mom, Ma and Sis were all there and on one side, Mom's side of course. I tried to stay neutral and "out of it" and just go about my own business but sometimes it was hard to hear the "comments". I defended the ole "how can you still like your Dad when he left you" comments with, "he didn't leave me" which always pissed someone off! The previous comment from my Grandmother was the first time I was ever really hurt by her and mad at her.
Anyway, in 9th grade I looked to improve my school "situation" and made the very bold (for me) decision to try out for cheer leading. What the heck, they can only turn me down right? What else could go wrong? So I stayed after school for a week or so learning and practicing the routines required to "try out" for cheer. I know I told my mom what I was doing because I had to catch the late bus home but there wasn't much interest in what I was doing as an individual as long as I didn't interfere with the daily routine. Our household was based on "the whole" of the family like, what to eat for dinner and what time to go to bed not how school life was or how my grades were. Anyway, after two days of try outs we were down to about 12 girls and they usually cut down to 10 total. I was still in it! As we all sat anxiously awaiting our fate the cheer teacher and Principal got up before us and said that they couldn't make a decision on who to cut so they had decided to keep us all!!!!
Oh the joy! The elation! I felt like I gained instant status! I went from a nobody to a somebody overnight! Might be silly but that's how I felt. Becoming a part of the cheer squad made me feel a sense of accomplishment like I had never felt before and helped to restore some of my sagging self confidence. And above all else, this was something I had chosen for myself....something I went after and something I alone had achieved.
I had a blast cheering for TJ. Loved the outfits, loved the little bit of "prestige" that came with being a cheerleader, and loved that I felt better about myself. My grades improved, they had to to stay on the squad and there was an added side benefit, guys started to look at me differently and ask me out! Aha!
Throughout this exciting time in my life disappointingly not once while I cheered for football, basketball and wrestling did my parents ever come and watch me.
Also during this weird time I'd just as soon forget as get through, there appeared in the top of my closet an interesting box. A blue box with a picture of a girl taking a bubble bath on the front of it. Hmmmmm, what's this? Ok, the Kotex boxes of the 60's were just downright weird. Apparently, soon I'm going to put my hair up in a foofy little hairdo and take bubble baths in claw foot tubs! We didn't own a claw foot tub. I'm going to go ice skating with a huge smile on my face dressed all in white! I'm going to dive into a swimming pool looking all shapely and lovely even though I don't know how to dive! WHAT? What is this? So I went to my surrogate-mom, Sandy, to ask what this was all about. Thank God for Sandy. I could always get a clear-cut and direct answer outta her. She explained how I would be getting my period soon and all the complicated how to's of using pads and how a baby is made, etc. I never asked my Mom a thing and she never volunteered any information except to, leprechaun like, place the box on the top shelf of my closet. I imagine there's lot's of other girls out there that had the same kind of shy, avoid-the-talk-at-all-costs, non-informative kind of mother too eh?
10th grade rolled around in late 1970 and I, again, changed schools. This time to Washington-Lee High School in North Arlington where I would complete 10th, 11th and 12th grade. Once again a lot of my good friends, including the boy I had chased most of 8th and 9th grade, were divided by high schools. He went to Wakefield. By the time I hit tenth grade I lost interest in school. All this changing around was difficult and I didn't feel like starting over again. All three of us girls had quit skating because we couldn't afford it and it was just too hard for Mom to manage the skating schedule. Classes in 10th grade were much harder and I had developed an interest in other things such as, boys (who went to the other high school) and marijuana. My new friends in high school enjoyed the herb as much as I was beginning to after all it was the "dawning of the Age of Aquarius!" Now I'm not proud of this but at the time it was exactly the pain reliever and distraction I needed.
Things were okay with Mom and I. It was Mom, Shirley, Ma, Sis and I in the big Barton Street house. It was a stressful time for Mom for sure with a big home to maintain and an even bigger garden to care for and lawn to mow. Mom started a daycare business out of our home to help out monetarily. I confess I didn't much care for the daycare children mostly because I was jealous of the attention they got from my mother. She was being paid to take care of and pay attention to them but I didn't care, I didn't like them hanging around. I tired of the conversation around the dinner table about how cute and good these children were. I didn't like it when I came in from school and was asked to help out with these kids....change their diapers and such - ugh! I didn't have to do it a lot but I didn't like being asked. After all, I was a sullen teenage and I wanted attention! You can't expect much from an attention-deprived sullen teenager! Mom still helped with sewing and finger work after dinner and continued to be unavailable. Life was dull there without Sandy and my older brother. I didn't drive yet and I wasn't allowed to go to other peoples houses or have friends over and Shirley was 4 years younger. A mere child! I was bored and looking for any distraction.
After the mandatory Virginia State 2-year separation law between the parentals, my parents divorced and Dad immediately re-married. Throughout these few years since my parents separated and then divorced, my father had been dating a woman by the name of Betty. Believe it or not her last name was conveniently already Johnson! They had both worked for Arlington County Government. Apparently there had been an attraction between them while Dad was still living with us at the Barton Street house. After some time and on one of the weekend days that we shared with Dad, Shirley and I were introduced to Betty. The four of us went to the Peter Pan Inn, just south(?) of Frederick, Maryland for a late lunch early dinner. I don't recall a lot about that dining experience except it was a family style restaurant (we didn't go out to many restaurants) and that I liked Betty. She was very quiet but asked thoughtful questions. She was probably more nervous about meeting us than we were to meet her. And I was nervous to meet her.
At the time of our Peter Pan repast, Dad and Betty were not married but pretty much living together. When they did marry, I was not allowed to go to the wedding but Sandy, being older, was allowed to go. I remember being pissed that Mom would not allow me to go. Mom was very angry at my father and would never speak kindly about him and certainly NEVER acknowledge Betty in any way. Betty was a scorned woman and Mother was heartbroken over the loss of her marriage. In many ways, she still is. Anyway when Dad married Betty us kids inherited 3 step-siblings....Robert, MaryAnne and David.
During my 11th grade year, 1971-72, my mother decided to go to Florida to visit her brother Bub for a week or so. When she returned she was so enamored of Florida that she told me she had decided to move there! What? For God sakes! I was not happy about the prospect of moving to Florida and told her I didn't want to move. I explained that I was in my 11th grade year of school and wanted to complete high school with my friends. Changing schools again was simply out of the question for me. Mom said, and I am quoting verbatim here, "If that's the way you feel, get out by the weekend." Okay, now what? I instantly became a "wreck".
I called my Dad and told him I needed to see him immediately. After work he came with Betty and picked me up from the house and we went out to grab a bite to eat. I had no sooner closed the back car door when I blurted out what had happened between Mom and I. Without missing a beat Betty said I was not to worry that they would help me move in with them this weekend and that everything would be okay. I literally sat back and breathed for the first time since the encounter with my Mother. Betty had alleviated all my fears in one sentence. So that next Saturday morning, Dad showed up and helped me load my personal effects and my make-up table into his car and drove me to my new home. A tiny two bedroom apartment in Falls Church, Virginia. When I walked into my new bedroom Betty had a pink robe and slippers laid out on the bed for me. They had installed a phone in my room and purchased a small TV also. With my clothes hung in the closet I was all set.
I was quite happy there actually. We were compatible Dad, Betty and I. We had breakfast together every morning and then piled in the car to go to Washington-Lee High School first and then they drove on to the Courthouse Building where they both worked. Dad would give me a kiss out the door of the car and press enough money in my hand to purchase a lunch....the first time I had ever purchased lunches from school! Everything just worked out.
It wasn't long though before the three of us moved to a building closer to school called Lorcom Towers on Old Dominion Highway. There were probably 10 floors in Lorcom and we lived on the 9th floor. It felt like a Penthouse! Expansive with my own nice big bedroom and bath; a very large living room, separate dining room and decent size kitchen. Sandy moved in with us for a while too and we shared a bedroom just like old times. This is where I started to feel like an adult. Nobody had their thumb on me. I could go out on dates, meet-up with friends and have friends over. Dad taught me to drive and, after I got my driver's license, he let me drive his car - a dark blue Delta 88! My friends and I called it the nightclub because it had the best stereo system ever! Led Zeppelin, The Who, Elton....they all just sounded wonderful in Dad's Delta 88! I just had to try to remember to turn the volume back down after I used the car!
I lived with Betty and Dad for about half of my 11th grade year until a developed a very serious bout of Mononucleosis. I was very, very ill. I couldn't go to school - couldn't get out of bed actually and weighed under 100 pounds. I called my Mom to ask her to get me in to see the doctor. She sent my brother over to pick me up and take me to Dr. White's office where they drew blood and determined that I was a very sick girl indeed. Once back at Dad and Betty's it was decided that I would need round the clock care for a while and mega-doses of vitamins to try to restore my health, therefore I moved back into the Barton Street house.
I confess that there is no one like your Mom when it comes to being sick and taken care of so in one sense I was happy to be back. On the other hand, I liked being treated like a grown up and worried that it might be a tough transition back into the old house. I missed a lot of school but managed to regain my health and get back to classes but I ended up having to take summer school that year because I had failed my history class and only eked by in English and math. I was lucky to have only failed one class.
Life at Barton Street improved. I think Mom got that I was more grown up and needed my independence. She somehow scraped together some money and bought me my first car - a 1961 white Volkswagen Beetle. Only thing is, it didn't have a starter. No problem! Our home on Barton street was on a slight hill and I could "pop the clutch" and get it started! Behind the school there was a slight hill so, as long as I got to the school ahead of everyone else I could easily find the perfect parking space which would allow me to slightly roll enough to "pop the clutch" and be on my way! I was one of the first kids of my friends to have a car so everyone was more than willing to give me a little push to get the thing going if a hill wasn't available and if there was a party I wanted to arrive at alone...well, I could only go if there was a hill available! Haha. I loved that car!
A sad thing happened though the summer between my junior and senior year. My mom had had enough of maintaining the big house and put the Barton Street house on the market. It sold pretty quick and that summer we moved out of the house I grew up in and just Shirley, Mom and I moved into a ground level apartment in a low-rise apartment building in Alexandria. Instead of switching schools again and with some of the proceed money from the sale of the house, Mom bought me a brand new 1973 yellow Volkswagen Beetle....the first year of the curved windshield, so I could get to W-L in Arlington. It was a bit of a commute since we were now in Alexandria and I would need to drive to school with people driving to work. But it worked out okay and only a few times was I late. I confessed to my homeroom teacher my situation and he forgave any tardiness on my behalf.
So I completed my senior year. I wasn't a stellar student but I had good friends, a boyfriend that I leaned on (his family had been through divorce and relocation too) and a complicated and somewhat divided family who I knew loved me. The troublesome teen years faded into the past and the now mature 18 year old found her footing, a job and prepared to attend community college. I moved with Mom and Shirley one more time about a year later and then pretty much moved out for good before I was 21.
The teen years can seem torturous while you are living them and can leave a lasting noise in your head. It's how you survive them and what you take from those years that makes you the adult you are today. For me, I know that if there's something I want I just have to go get it; you can't blame people for circumstances under which they were raised; that no matter how bad things seem they usually work out okay as long as you hang in there; and mostly that broken things mend. Most especially people and relationships.
AND it doesn't matter where you live as long as you have loved ones around you, you'll always be home.
In 1969, after Dad moved out of the house, everyone started to re-adjust to the household and school routine and we found a new kind of normalcy. It was early 9th grade for me and I'd just come off a two-year low-point teenager stint. Let me explain.
Integration started in Arlington County at Stratford Junior High in 1959 when four black students were integrated in to the all white Stratford. At the time I was four and by 1963 there were still two Arlingtons, the well-to-do, predominantly white North Arlington and the less prosperous, racially mixed South Arlington. There were few students of color in my North Arlington elementary school, in fact, I can't think of one. The Arlington Public Schools were slowly being segregated and, as I told you in an earlier blog I left my elementary school, which was called Henry Clay, after 6th grade in 1967. Some kids from my school, including me, were bussed to south Arlington to go to 7th grade at Hoffman Boston Junior High. Hoffman-Boston was a run down school which relied on discarded books from the white schools. At one time this was the only option for black students in Arlington, who had to attend "colored" schools. It was a pretty scary environment for a very young and naive "white girl" from north Arlington.
I'm not a racist, never have been and never will be. I believe in the family of mankind. The community we were bussed to was not welcoming....can you blame them? I was scared everyday I went to school. I witnessed people getting beat up regularly; money being taken off kids who brought lunch money to school; personal belongings being stolen right off a person; scared teachers who were helpless to defend us and themselves; and molestation all the time. I had a class in the basement of the school where you had to go down this back staircase to get to the classroom and everyday this same group of black kids were waiting there for me and everyday they would touch me in some offensive manner. I don't blame them or hold them a grudge...I feel differently about the school district and their parents however. These kids were reacting to the situation.
Sounds fun huh? My mediocre grades dropped off. I found it difficult to concentrate and I was terribly unhappy. All those kids I had been to school with since kindergarten had been divided up and sent to different schools. Some of my old friends went with me and some didn't. I just remember it as a very lonely time. I felt like a little girl going to school with strangers and kids who were much bigger and older than me. Some of the guys I saw at Hoffman Boston had whiskers for God sakes and the girls had breasts and their periods! Believe it or not, I wouldn't get my period until 10th grade! But that's a story for another time.
So that was 7th grade. In 8th grade we went to a different school in south Arlington called Thomas Jefferson Junior High School....a former "all white" Junior High. I would be there for 8th and 9th grade. Things improved a bit when I went there. It was more "normal" (whatever that was) and the black/white integration was a little more balanced at TJ though the school was not without racial conflict. I saw some pretty beaten up white boys at TJ with broken noses, broken bones and stitches. Lots of black eyes and bruises.
At home our new schedule with Dad was that Shirley and I, being under the age of 18, could have dinner with him one night a week and see him on the weekend on a Saturday or Sunday. Dad moved into an apartment in Old Town Alexandria about 10-15 minutes away. It was a very small studio or one bedroom apartment I don't really remember. The apartment had a tiny kitchen and bath. It wasn't too long after my parents split that my mother invited my sister to move in with "her Dad" too. I believe there was a discussion over a slightly missed curfew on Sandy's part and so she got "the boot". So with Sandy on a cot, Sandy and Dad had taken up new digs in Old Town. I missed Sandy. She and I were very close and taking her away was just another blow to my fragile state of mind.
There wasn't a lot of love around the Barton Street house for Dad. Mom, Ma and Sis were all there and on one side, Mom's side of course. I tried to stay neutral and "out of it" and just go about my own business but sometimes it was hard to hear the "comments". I defended the ole "how can you still like your Dad when he left you" comments with, "he didn't leave me" which always pissed someone off! The previous comment from my Grandmother was the first time I was ever really hurt by her and mad at her.
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| Front row, Shirley, me and Mom; Cousin Susan and Sandy in rear. |
Oh the joy! The elation! I felt like I gained instant status! I went from a nobody to a somebody overnight! Might be silly but that's how I felt. Becoming a part of the cheer squad made me feel a sense of accomplishment like I had never felt before and helped to restore some of my sagging self confidence. And above all else, this was something I had chosen for myself....something I went after and something I alone had achieved.
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| Why are my eyes always closed in pictures? |
Throughout this exciting time in my life disappointingly not once while I cheered for football, basketball and wrestling did my parents ever come and watch me.
Also during this weird time I'd just as soon forget as get through, there appeared in the top of my closet an interesting box. A blue box with a picture of a girl taking a bubble bath on the front of it. Hmmmmm, what's this? Ok, the Kotex boxes of the 60's were just downright weird. Apparently, soon I'm going to put my hair up in a foofy little hairdo and take bubble baths in claw foot tubs! We didn't own a claw foot tub. I'm going to go ice skating with a huge smile on my face dressed all in white! I'm going to dive into a swimming pool looking all shapely and lovely even though I don't know how to dive! WHAT? What is this? So I went to my surrogate-mom, Sandy, to ask what this was all about. Thank God for Sandy. I could always get a clear-cut and direct answer outta her. She explained how I would be getting my period soon and all the complicated how to's of using pads and how a baby is made, etc. I never asked my Mom a thing and she never volunteered any information except to, leprechaun like, place the box on the top shelf of my closet. I imagine there's lot's of other girls out there that had the same kind of shy, avoid-the-talk-at-all-costs, non-informative kind of mother too eh?
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| 9th grade promotion. In the front yard of Barton Street. Note closed eyes! |
10th grade rolled around in late 1970 and I, again, changed schools. This time to Washington-Lee High School in North Arlington where I would complete 10th, 11th and 12th grade. Once again a lot of my good friends, including the boy I had chased most of 8th and 9th grade, were divided by high schools. He went to Wakefield. By the time I hit tenth grade I lost interest in school. All this changing around was difficult and I didn't feel like starting over again. All three of us girls had quit skating because we couldn't afford it and it was just too hard for Mom to manage the skating schedule. Classes in 10th grade were much harder and I had developed an interest in other things such as, boys (who went to the other high school) and marijuana. My new friends in high school enjoyed the herb as much as I was beginning to after all it was the "dawning of the Age of Aquarius!" Now I'm not proud of this but at the time it was exactly the pain reliever and distraction I needed.
Things were okay with Mom and I. It was Mom, Shirley, Ma, Sis and I in the big Barton Street house. It was a stressful time for Mom for sure with a big home to maintain and an even bigger garden to care for and lawn to mow. Mom started a daycare business out of our home to help out monetarily. I confess I didn't much care for the daycare children mostly because I was jealous of the attention they got from my mother. She was being paid to take care of and pay attention to them but I didn't care, I didn't like them hanging around. I tired of the conversation around the dinner table about how cute and good these children were. I didn't like it when I came in from school and was asked to help out with these kids....change their diapers and such - ugh! I didn't have to do it a lot but I didn't like being asked. After all, I was a sullen teenage and I wanted attention! You can't expect much from an attention-deprived sullen teenager! Mom still helped with sewing and finger work after dinner and continued to be unavailable. Life was dull there without Sandy and my older brother. I didn't drive yet and I wasn't allowed to go to other peoples houses or have friends over and Shirley was 4 years younger. A mere child! I was bored and looking for any distraction.
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| A daycare child! I think her name was Beth. Don't I look enthusiastic? |
At the time of our Peter Pan repast, Dad and Betty were not married but pretty much living together. When they did marry, I was not allowed to go to the wedding but Sandy, being older, was allowed to go. I remember being pissed that Mom would not allow me to go. Mom was very angry at my father and would never speak kindly about him and certainly NEVER acknowledge Betty in any way. Betty was a scorned woman and Mother was heartbroken over the loss of her marriage. In many ways, she still is. Anyway when Dad married Betty us kids inherited 3 step-siblings....Robert, MaryAnne and David.
During my 11th grade year, 1971-72, my mother decided to go to Florida to visit her brother Bub for a week or so. When she returned she was so enamored of Florida that she told me she had decided to move there! What? For God sakes! I was not happy about the prospect of moving to Florida and told her I didn't want to move. I explained that I was in my 11th grade year of school and wanted to complete high school with my friends. Changing schools again was simply out of the question for me. Mom said, and I am quoting verbatim here, "If that's the way you feel, get out by the weekend." Okay, now what? I instantly became a "wreck".
I called my Dad and told him I needed to see him immediately. After work he came with Betty and picked me up from the house and we went out to grab a bite to eat. I had no sooner closed the back car door when I blurted out what had happened between Mom and I. Without missing a beat Betty said I was not to worry that they would help me move in with them this weekend and that everything would be okay. I literally sat back and breathed for the first time since the encounter with my Mother. Betty had alleviated all my fears in one sentence. So that next Saturday morning, Dad showed up and helped me load my personal effects and my make-up table into his car and drove me to my new home. A tiny two bedroom apartment in Falls Church, Virginia. When I walked into my new bedroom Betty had a pink robe and slippers laid out on the bed for me. They had installed a phone in my room and purchased a small TV also. With my clothes hung in the closet I was all set.
I was quite happy there actually. We were compatible Dad, Betty and I. We had breakfast together every morning and then piled in the car to go to Washington-Lee High School first and then they drove on to the Courthouse Building where they both worked. Dad would give me a kiss out the door of the car and press enough money in my hand to purchase a lunch....the first time I had ever purchased lunches from school! Everything just worked out.
It wasn't long though before the three of us moved to a building closer to school called Lorcom Towers on Old Dominion Highway. There were probably 10 floors in Lorcom and we lived on the 9th floor. It felt like a Penthouse! Expansive with my own nice big bedroom and bath; a very large living room, separate dining room and decent size kitchen. Sandy moved in with us for a while too and we shared a bedroom just like old times. This is where I started to feel like an adult. Nobody had their thumb on me. I could go out on dates, meet-up with friends and have friends over. Dad taught me to drive and, after I got my driver's license, he let me drive his car - a dark blue Delta 88! My friends and I called it the nightclub because it had the best stereo system ever! Led Zeppelin, The Who, Elton....they all just sounded wonderful in Dad's Delta 88! I just had to try to remember to turn the volume back down after I used the car!
I lived with Betty and Dad for about half of my 11th grade year until a developed a very serious bout of Mononucleosis. I was very, very ill. I couldn't go to school - couldn't get out of bed actually and weighed under 100 pounds. I called my Mom to ask her to get me in to see the doctor. She sent my brother over to pick me up and take me to Dr. White's office where they drew blood and determined that I was a very sick girl indeed. Once back at Dad and Betty's it was decided that I would need round the clock care for a while and mega-doses of vitamins to try to restore my health, therefore I moved back into the Barton Street house.
I confess that there is no one like your Mom when it comes to being sick and taken care of so in one sense I was happy to be back. On the other hand, I liked being treated like a grown up and worried that it might be a tough transition back into the old house. I missed a lot of school but managed to regain my health and get back to classes but I ended up having to take summer school that year because I had failed my history class and only eked by in English and math. I was lucky to have only failed one class.
Life at Barton Street improved. I think Mom got that I was more grown up and needed my independence. She somehow scraped together some money and bought me my first car - a 1961 white Volkswagen Beetle. Only thing is, it didn't have a starter. No problem! Our home on Barton street was on a slight hill and I could "pop the clutch" and get it started! Behind the school there was a slight hill so, as long as I got to the school ahead of everyone else I could easily find the perfect parking space which would allow me to slightly roll enough to "pop the clutch" and be on my way! I was one of the first kids of my friends to have a car so everyone was more than willing to give me a little push to get the thing going if a hill wasn't available and if there was a party I wanted to arrive at alone...well, I could only go if there was a hill available! Haha. I loved that car!
A sad thing happened though the summer between my junior and senior year. My mom had had enough of maintaining the big house and put the Barton Street house on the market. It sold pretty quick and that summer we moved out of the house I grew up in and just Shirley, Mom and I moved into a ground level apartment in a low-rise apartment building in Alexandria. Instead of switching schools again and with some of the proceed money from the sale of the house, Mom bought me a brand new 1973 yellow Volkswagen Beetle....the first year of the curved windshield, so I could get to W-L in Arlington. It was a bit of a commute since we were now in Alexandria and I would need to drive to school with people driving to work. But it worked out okay and only a few times was I late. I confessed to my homeroom teacher my situation and he forgave any tardiness on my behalf.
So I completed my senior year. I wasn't a stellar student but I had good friends, a boyfriend that I leaned on (his family had been through divorce and relocation too) and a complicated and somewhat divided family who I knew loved me. The troublesome teen years faded into the past and the now mature 18 year old found her footing, a job and prepared to attend community college. I moved with Mom and Shirley one more time about a year later and then pretty much moved out for good before I was 21.
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| The BF, Rob, just before going to Senior Prom. |
AND it doesn't matter where you live as long as you have loved ones around you, you'll always be home.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Christmas Thoughts
I can hardly believe it's the holidays again. Where is the time going? You know in cartoons when they want to express how time flies they put up a calendar and the months keep tearing off faster and faster? Well that's what my life feels like now.....just like my parents used to say it would when we were kids. The older you get the faster the months and years go by.
This is an odd Christmas. Actually....since the girls left for college starting with Jillian each Christmas has been different and a bit odd. This year Jillian hasn't been home all year but she will arrive late evening of December 21and stay until January 2. We decided to put the tree up and get the lights on and wait for her arrival to decorate. Our typical tree decorating consists of yummy appetizers and champagne or martinis and a lot of laughter and joking.
So this year Gordon and I schlepped the tree in......Gordon's language gets very colorful while he's setting up the tree! He wrestled it into the stand and I hung the lights on it and put the tree skirt around it. I had actually wrapped presents the day before so I put them under the tree. Natalie came home exhausted from her last week of school to start preparing and studying for finals. We were enjoying a glass of wine in front of the "naked" tree and she said "let's decorate it!" "We can't decorate it without Alison and Jillian", I say. A few texts later Gordon, Natalie and I are decorating the tree. We just couldn't bear it!
Anyway the tree looks lovely, our home is all decorated and the lights are on the house. Alison arrived home on Friday looking lovely and happy. Natalie finishes her finals this week and should come home Friday evening, hopefully for the weekend. And then next Wednesday night Jillian will slip into her bed in her own room and our house will be full again.....finally.
The last two weekends have been busy with dinner parties and cocktail hours. A lot of delicious food and fantastic wines. We've even broken out the "instruments" - a tambourine, small drums, maracas, etc. Those of you who have been here when we start the dancing know what I'm talking about. When the instruments come out.....somebodies gonna barf!!! Usually it's me! This past weekend was no different!!!!
We went to the annual Christmas Pub Quiz at the restaurant I used to work in - Redcoats. It's sponsored by the St. Andrew's Society, a Scottish Society. This year I'm proud to announce that we took 2nd place, up from 3rd last year. AND we were only 5 points off first! Actually, if we hadn't changed so many damn answers we probably would have won.
Tomorrow I'm having a Christmas lunch with the best bud's and then Christmas Bunko is Thursday evening. Just getting through the next weekend in anticipation of our impending full house.
Gordon and I have much to be thankful for. Our family of funny, bright, beautiful girls; a home that we own outright; wonderful health and fantastic family and friends. What more could we ask for? Well, I need some new workout clothes from Santa, but.........
Happy holidays world! And a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is an odd Christmas. Actually....since the girls left for college starting with Jillian each Christmas has been different and a bit odd. This year Jillian hasn't been home all year but she will arrive late evening of December 21and stay until January 2. We decided to put the tree up and get the lights on and wait for her arrival to decorate. Our typical tree decorating consists of yummy appetizers and champagne or martinis and a lot of laughter and joking.
So this year Gordon and I schlepped the tree in......Gordon's language gets very colorful while he's setting up the tree! He wrestled it into the stand and I hung the lights on it and put the tree skirt around it. I had actually wrapped presents the day before so I put them under the tree. Natalie came home exhausted from her last week of school to start preparing and studying for finals. We were enjoying a glass of wine in front of the "naked" tree and she said "let's decorate it!" "We can't decorate it without Alison and Jillian", I say. A few texts later Gordon, Natalie and I are decorating the tree. We just couldn't bear it!
Anyway the tree looks lovely, our home is all decorated and the lights are on the house. Alison arrived home on Friday looking lovely and happy. Natalie finishes her finals this week and should come home Friday evening, hopefully for the weekend. And then next Wednesday night Jillian will slip into her bed in her own room and our house will be full again.....finally.
The last two weekends have been busy with dinner parties and cocktail hours. A lot of delicious food and fantastic wines. We've even broken out the "instruments" - a tambourine, small drums, maracas, etc. Those of you who have been here when we start the dancing know what I'm talking about. When the instruments come out.....somebodies gonna barf!!! Usually it's me! This past weekend was no different!!!!
We went to the annual Christmas Pub Quiz at the restaurant I used to work in - Redcoats. It's sponsored by the St. Andrew's Society, a Scottish Society. This year I'm proud to announce that we took 2nd place, up from 3rd last year. AND we were only 5 points off first! Actually, if we hadn't changed so many damn answers we probably would have won.
Tomorrow I'm having a Christmas lunch with the best bud's and then Christmas Bunko is Thursday evening. Just getting through the next weekend in anticipation of our impending full house.
Gordon and I have much to be thankful for. Our family of funny, bright, beautiful girls; a home that we own outright; wonderful health and fantastic family and friends. What more could we ask for? Well, I need some new workout clothes from Santa, but.........
Happy holidays world! And a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Letters to Isa - October 9, 1991, January 18, 1992, October 3, 1991 and the Final letter dated December 14, 2000
October 9, 1991
Dear Isa,
Here is the latest set of pictures of our family. I really appreciate your leaving your camera for us. It benefits us all!
The babies are doing great.....so am I. I can't believe how much has changed since you left. It was dumb of me to rely so heavily on you and everyone else for help with the babies. I should have just believed in myself and gotten hold of the situation. I think a schedule would have been worked out far sooner. I just didn't believe that I could handle two infants on my own....too scared I guess. Anyway the babies seem far happier now that they kind of know what's happening day to day and also because they are getting more sleep at night. Natalie sleeps through the night about 3 to 4 nights a week. She still wakes up between 3 and 4 the other nights. Don't exactly know why but I've been unable to let her fuss for very long (in part because she's so loud). I just get up and nurse her and I'm back in bed in 10-15 minutes. No big deal. Alison always sleeps through and is just beaming in the morning when we go to pick her up.
They eat a pile of rice/wheat/barley/oat cereal in the morning now. I'm not measuring I just dump but I figure it's a third to a half cup. Natalie doesn't eat as well as Alison. Alison says, "mmmmmm" the whole time she's eating! Gordon, Jillie and I get a kick out of it. For lunch they eat squash, carrots, or soup. They have devoured all the soup you made and I made up a new soup with mostly potatoes, carrot and celery. I bought some leeks yesterday that I'll put in the next batch. They still have no desire for apples and pears (strange) but Nat likes bananas now, especially with her graham cracker. Natalie drinks 5-6 four ounce bottles a day now. She always drinks the whole bottle, never 2 ounces here and another 2 in an hour. Odd huh? She was on that schedule for so long but stopped the first week you were gone. It's almost as if they knew that we had to get down to business and figure each other out!
Gordon and I have been out to breakfast with them several times since you've been gone. We go on a day when Jillie's in school. Both babies sleep the entire time and we've not had any trouble. Other than that though, we haven't been anywhere or done any thing, except for the venture to the mall to have their pictures taken. It's a pretty boring life....but I'm enjoying it!
I took a seminar on in-home child care last week and got the low-down on what I'd need to do to become licensed. It's actually pretty easy and doesn't cost anything. I've filled out the application, just need fingerprints on myself and Gordon and I'll send it off. I don't want to start until the new year so I'm not in a rush but it does take two months for a license. Kenzie is still coming down once or twice a week and it's great. So I think adding another child or two will be nice. I'm setting a lot of limitations on the children I take and the times I'll take them though. I don't want to get stuck with a situation that doesn't work out.
Gordon's fire training is proceeding okay. He's out Tuesday and Thursday nights and all day Saturday. Gordon said the first two weeks were boring but now it is beginning to get interesting. Saturdays are really long for him. They work out in the morning, running, doing push-ups and sit-ups, then it's all class room. But soon they'll start doing actual hands-on stuff. He's looking forward to that. Saturdays seem endless for me. They are harder than Tuesday and Thursday nights because he doesn't come home at all on Saturday until 6:30pm and he leaves at 7:30am. At least on Tuesday and Thursday he comes home for lunch and then quits work about 4:00. I'm trying to schedule people to come over on Saturdays for long visits. Rhonda came the first Saturday, but she had to bring Marie with her so that wasn't so great. Katy Wright was supposed to come last Saturday, but I came down with a cold Friday night and had to cancel. Last Saturday was particularly hard with that cold. Jillie took such good care of me and the babies it was really sweet. She fed Natalie her bottle while Natalie was strapped into her little chair (she's fed her once everyday since then), she kept me covered up when I was laying on the couch and brought me water. She kept all the babies toys picked up on their trays when they threw them off and played with them for long periods of time so I could rest. She's real sensitive when I'm sick. She had Alison laughing hysterically at one point. I wish I had it video taped.
Becky down the street, the one pregnant with twins has now made it to full term and has yet to go into labor. She goes into the hospital tomorrow, Thursday, to be induced, so there will be two more little girls added to the street by next week. I'm looking forward to seeing them and I'm very thankful that I'm beyond what she will be going through.
Gordon sold both of his Livermore listings this week. He will need to get back out there and get some more. I know he's really frustrated. I hope he gets a fire job or another offer from Miles Pharmaceuticals soon.
The weather continues in the 90's here although the evenings seem cooler now and it is definitely darker quicker. The time will change this month and stop evening walks. Jillie and I take the babies to the park bench in Woodthrush Park on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Jillie takes all her ponies and plays in the grass and I set the babies on a blanket to look around. They felt grass for the first time this week. Alison was scratching at it the way she scratches the playpen fabric and Natalie was trying to put it in her mouth, no teeth yet by the way. Jillie likes the post card you sent with the horses on it. She said "oh boy, more ponies!" By the way, Halloween is October 31, so she has yet to be Snow White. She has asked about you many times since you left saying that she misses you and we talk about your place at the kitchen table. The room change is really good. Her big girl room looks nice and Alison's room (Jillie's old room) is perfect for her too. Plus it allows the toys to be spread out more. We have left Jillie's twin bed up in Alison's room for Jillie when guests come and she seems fine with that. We also re-arranged the family room taking out most of the furniture and put up the "corral" for the babies. It works out great. I can leave the room without worrying about them. Plus Jillie likes to get in and play ponies inside with the babies. Today the girls watched a kids song video while I hung laundry out...."A Day at Old MacDonald's Farm". I think they really liked it. I was outside the whole film and when I came in they were both sitting in their walkers watching the TV. It's kind of funny to see.
Well I'm going to pick up Jillie now. The babies are sleeping so Jan, Kenzie's mom, is coming down to listen for them while I run out. Gordon and I forgot to say who was to pick up Jillie today.
Enjoy these pictures and we'll talk to you soon.
With love,
Sharon
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January 18, 1992
Dear Isa,
Just wanted to drop these pictures in the mail. That little Natalie is a gem and so proud to be standing and now both "cruising" on the furniture!
This has been a particularly hellish last 2 weeks. First, Natalie's cold, then Alison's ear infection, then Jillian's pneumonia, then strep throat for me, then Natalie got the flu running a 101 degree temp for 5 days and now Alison's got it. Today I'm tired of them fussing, tired of wiping and blowing runny noses, tired of trying to figure out what they'll eat and tired of being tired! Not a very good way to start 1992! But I feel by the time you are reading this letter all should be back to normal (whatever that is) at this house.
Both girls seem to be going through a phase of not liking anything I fix them to eat. I've tried, apples, pears, bananas, squash, spinach, broccoli, carrots, peas, beans, rice cereal, wheat cereal, oat cereal, soups with everything and do you know what they absolutely gobble down? - SPAGHETTI! Just like Gordon. They also love MacDonald's french fries, naturally. Anyway I'm quite frustrated with them trying to get decent food in them. I definitely think Natalie will be a "cornflakes and bananas" kid!
We have booked our vacation and I have a surprise - Jackie and Alistair are going with us! They are coming to San Francisco May 9 and the 4 of us will leave for Maui on May 12 returning on May 20. They will head back to England on May 23. It should be fun to spend some time with Jackie and meet Alistair.
I have arranged with Nadia to come every other day between 4-8pm to give you a hand. She is also available every day if we feel you might need her. It is very likely that you will and it will be $100 bucks well spent for your (and our) mental health. Plus I've got a full week arranged for Jillie too, to ease the pressure on you.
We are discussing plans for the birthday bash. I think it will be a combination "spring party" and birthday party. There is a chance that my sister Sandy and Lisa might be here too.
Gordon continues to be busy. He finished the academy last Tuesday night HOORAY! We are going to the final dinner next Saturday. By the way, we just LOVE Nadia and so does Jillie. We have been to two movies in the last few weeks thanks to Nadia and we are going out to dinner next Friday, the Academy dinner Saturday; a baby shower (dinner) the following weekend and a wedding the weekend after that. It's great to have somebody we really trust. We left the house last night with all three girls up and Nadia did just great. Thank you Jesus!
Well I hear the little ones stirring from their naps. And I need to quit the marathon cartoon viewing that Jillie is in the middle of! So I'll talk to you soon Isa - our love to you.
Sharon
_______________________________________________________
October 3, 1993
Dear Isa,
I really enjoyed our conversation earlier today. I miss you. I'm glad you have found your old friend again. You didn't tell me her name. I'll bet you had a lot of catching up to do . Needless to say, you have probably had the most interesting news to tell her about your travels and, oh yeah, your grandchildren. Have you bored her with a thousand pictures?
Speaking of pictures, I've included a new batch. As you know, Jillian has started her horseback riding lessons. All of the pictures enclosed are of her first lesson. Her teacher, Irene (my moms name) is really nice. She's soft spoken, gentle yet very cowgirly and she makes Jillie really at ease around the horses. Jillian rides an old 20 year horse named Moe. Irene is teaching her to groom the horse with a curry comb, brushes and a s special brush for his tail. Jillian like to brush the tail the best. she also has her carry the saddle from the barn and put it on the horse and the bridle also. Then she leads him to the pasture for her lesson. She's taken 4 lessons, she's learning to post and really control the horse. Irene thinks she's doing well and was very impressed that she didn't cry when thrown from the horse and got right back on. Gordon and I were proud of her too.
There are also two pictures from her first day at school. As you can see, she's letting her bangs grow out. It's a constant battle because they are driving me crazy hanging in her eyes but she looks very cute with her forehead showing off those big eyes.
By the way, Natalie's nose has finally healed. It's still a little red in places but I think it will be okay. I cut the twins hair the other night to just below their ears. Basically I cut off the scraggly stuff. They look really cute. Alison's hair hangs just like mine and Natty's has a little bend at the end. I think they like the cut, they seem to have a new way of walking around kind of shaking their heads and admiring themselves in the mirror!
As I said, splitting them up again seems to have been a good idea. It was Gordon's. They both seem to like having their own space and know that the room they are in is their very own. One of their favorite things to do is throw Jillie out of their rooms (especially Alison) as if they are tying to get Jillie back for all the times she threw them out of hers! Serves her right - it doesn't make Jillian very happy though. Anyway, as I said, we've put the closet doors back on, they look great, and moved the large toys around. In Alison's room is the kitchen set against the wall where Natty's bed used to be, a rocking chair and one of the small bookcases and other things put away in her closet. I've even separated their clothes and shoes. Natalie's room has the dollhouse, the little plastic table and chairs that were outside, a rocking chair and a bookcase. I have crayons and color books (Barney, of course) on the table and so far they are using the table as a work area. Sometimes they will go back there by themselves to color quietly (believe it or not) or go in Alison's room to play with the kitchen set, now that it's more accessible. Natalie's room (the old guest room) is really cute with children's artwork and her name on the walls and Mickie and Minnie. I'll yank what's left of the wallpaper from Alison's room this winter. While I was stripping Jillian's room the little ones got the idea that their room needed stripping too and started pulling the wallpaper off. Oh well.
I don't want you to feel there is no room for you now Isa, that will never be true. We all knew eventually we'd have to go the route of separate rooms for the girls. It seems fair. We have had several discussions about what we would do when you come. As I said Jillian said you could sleep in her room and she'd sleep on the floor. She wanted to sleep in our room but we quickly told her she could sleep in Alison's room! I had this idea. I didn't talk to you on the phone about it because I was sure you'd say no, but I want you to think about it and let me know how you feel. If you don't like the idea, feel free to tell me so. I thought you might like to stay at Jimmy's for part of the time you are here. That way you won't have to get up early or go to bed early because the kids get up so early. If you don't feel well one day or would like to just lay around one day without being bothered you could do it. My schedule in the mornings now is get Jillian out the door at 9:00am then go to the health club with the twins. When I'm done I can come up and get you. On the days the twins are in school I'd come get you earlier if you wish, and we could run errands without them. If you wanted to stay here one night or many we could do that too. It's an opportunity for you to have a private space and alone time if you want it without being bombarded by our family 24 hours a day. Gordon and I both think it can work and we do not feel it an imposition to drive to Danville to get you and you could leave as early or late as you like. Anyway, it's something to think about. Of course, we haven't talked to anyone about this, ie., Jimmy or Ella. It's just an idea open for discussion. Enough said.
The girls decided to be a "tribe"for Halloween. I made Indian costumes for them. They look so cute. And the moccasins I brought from Utah on my way back from Virginia are perfect. Jillian wants me to make costumes for Gordon and I too. Gordon might look good as a tribal leader! We'll see.
Any ideas on what you'd like for Christmas? I've been looking around but if there is something specific, let me know. We were going to get you that watch but you blew that idea! Anyway suggestion would be helpful.
Well that's all for now. Time to put the little ones to bed. Take care and I'll talk to you soon. Enjoy the pictures. By the way, Jillie's school picture should be coming out soon. She let me roll her hair and put a bow in it. She looked like a model, even other mothers told me how beautiful she looked. And she's still got all her teeth! It should be a great picture.
Think of you - Sharon and all
_________________________________________________________
LAST LETTER DATED December 14,2000
Dear Isa,
Gordon's running out the door and I want him to mail these so I'll be brief.
These pictures were taken at Ron's Cabin mid-November. 7 inches of snow!
Also pictures of Sox and Jake. Sox has white fur and is Natty's baby!
Also....Halloween! Jillie was a flapper (won 1st prize at school for best costume), Alison, well, let's just say her costume suits her moods these days! (Ali went as a witch that year!) And Natalie was a very cute hippie. A woman after my own heart! Let's just hope she doesn't discover P O T!
Love you,
Sharon
Dear Isa,
Here is the latest set of pictures of our family. I really appreciate your leaving your camera for us. It benefits us all!
The babies are doing great.....so am I. I can't believe how much has changed since you left. It was dumb of me to rely so heavily on you and everyone else for help with the babies. I should have just believed in myself and gotten hold of the situation. I think a schedule would have been worked out far sooner. I just didn't believe that I could handle two infants on my own....too scared I guess. Anyway the babies seem far happier now that they kind of know what's happening day to day and also because they are getting more sleep at night. Natalie sleeps through the night about 3 to 4 nights a week. She still wakes up between 3 and 4 the other nights. Don't exactly know why but I've been unable to let her fuss for very long (in part because she's so loud). I just get up and nurse her and I'm back in bed in 10-15 minutes. No big deal. Alison always sleeps through and is just beaming in the morning when we go to pick her up.
They eat a pile of rice/wheat/barley/oat cereal in the morning now. I'm not measuring I just dump but I figure it's a third to a half cup. Natalie doesn't eat as well as Alison. Alison says, "mmmmmm" the whole time she's eating! Gordon, Jillie and I get a kick out of it. For lunch they eat squash, carrots, or soup. They have devoured all the soup you made and I made up a new soup with mostly potatoes, carrot and celery. I bought some leeks yesterday that I'll put in the next batch. They still have no desire for apples and pears (strange) but Nat likes bananas now, especially with her graham cracker. Natalie drinks 5-6 four ounce bottles a day now. She always drinks the whole bottle, never 2 ounces here and another 2 in an hour. Odd huh? She was on that schedule for so long but stopped the first week you were gone. It's almost as if they knew that we had to get down to business and figure each other out!
Gordon and I have been out to breakfast with them several times since you've been gone. We go on a day when Jillie's in school. Both babies sleep the entire time and we've not had any trouble. Other than that though, we haven't been anywhere or done any thing, except for the venture to the mall to have their pictures taken. It's a pretty boring life....but I'm enjoying it!
I took a seminar on in-home child care last week and got the low-down on what I'd need to do to become licensed. It's actually pretty easy and doesn't cost anything. I've filled out the application, just need fingerprints on myself and Gordon and I'll send it off. I don't want to start until the new year so I'm not in a rush but it does take two months for a license. Kenzie is still coming down once or twice a week and it's great. So I think adding another child or two will be nice. I'm setting a lot of limitations on the children I take and the times I'll take them though. I don't want to get stuck with a situation that doesn't work out.
Gordon's fire training is proceeding okay. He's out Tuesday and Thursday nights and all day Saturday. Gordon said the first two weeks were boring but now it is beginning to get interesting. Saturdays are really long for him. They work out in the morning, running, doing push-ups and sit-ups, then it's all class room. But soon they'll start doing actual hands-on stuff. He's looking forward to that. Saturdays seem endless for me. They are harder than Tuesday and Thursday nights because he doesn't come home at all on Saturday until 6:30pm and he leaves at 7:30am. At least on Tuesday and Thursday he comes home for lunch and then quits work about 4:00. I'm trying to schedule people to come over on Saturdays for long visits. Rhonda came the first Saturday, but she had to bring Marie with her so that wasn't so great. Katy Wright was supposed to come last Saturday, but I came down with a cold Friday night and had to cancel. Last Saturday was particularly hard with that cold. Jillie took such good care of me and the babies it was really sweet. She fed Natalie her bottle while Natalie was strapped into her little chair (she's fed her once everyday since then), she kept me covered up when I was laying on the couch and brought me water. She kept all the babies toys picked up on their trays when they threw them off and played with them for long periods of time so I could rest. She's real sensitive when I'm sick. She had Alison laughing hysterically at one point. I wish I had it video taped.
Becky down the street, the one pregnant with twins has now made it to full term and has yet to go into labor. She goes into the hospital tomorrow, Thursday, to be induced, so there will be two more little girls added to the street by next week. I'm looking forward to seeing them and I'm very thankful that I'm beyond what she will be going through.
Gordon sold both of his Livermore listings this week. He will need to get back out there and get some more. I know he's really frustrated. I hope he gets a fire job or another offer from Miles Pharmaceuticals soon.
The weather continues in the 90's here although the evenings seem cooler now and it is definitely darker quicker. The time will change this month and stop evening walks. Jillie and I take the babies to the park bench in Woodthrush Park on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Jillie takes all her ponies and plays in the grass and I set the babies on a blanket to look around. They felt grass for the first time this week. Alison was scratching at it the way she scratches the playpen fabric and Natalie was trying to put it in her mouth, no teeth yet by the way. Jillie likes the post card you sent with the horses on it. She said "oh boy, more ponies!" By the way, Halloween is October 31, so she has yet to be Snow White. She has asked about you many times since you left saying that she misses you and we talk about your place at the kitchen table. The room change is really good. Her big girl room looks nice and Alison's room (Jillie's old room) is perfect for her too. Plus it allows the toys to be spread out more. We have left Jillie's twin bed up in Alison's room for Jillie when guests come and she seems fine with that. We also re-arranged the family room taking out most of the furniture and put up the "corral" for the babies. It works out great. I can leave the room without worrying about them. Plus Jillie likes to get in and play ponies inside with the babies. Today the girls watched a kids song video while I hung laundry out...."A Day at Old MacDonald's Farm". I think they really liked it. I was outside the whole film and when I came in they were both sitting in their walkers watching the TV. It's kind of funny to see.
Well I'm going to pick up Jillie now. The babies are sleeping so Jan, Kenzie's mom, is coming down to listen for them while I run out. Gordon and I forgot to say who was to pick up Jillie today.
Enjoy these pictures and we'll talk to you soon.
With love,
Sharon
_________________________________________________________
January 18, 1992
Dear Isa,
Just wanted to drop these pictures in the mail. That little Natalie is a gem and so proud to be standing and now both "cruising" on the furniture!
This has been a particularly hellish last 2 weeks. First, Natalie's cold, then Alison's ear infection, then Jillian's pneumonia, then strep throat for me, then Natalie got the flu running a 101 degree temp for 5 days and now Alison's got it. Today I'm tired of them fussing, tired of wiping and blowing runny noses, tired of trying to figure out what they'll eat and tired of being tired! Not a very good way to start 1992! But I feel by the time you are reading this letter all should be back to normal (whatever that is) at this house.
Both girls seem to be going through a phase of not liking anything I fix them to eat. I've tried, apples, pears, bananas, squash, spinach, broccoli, carrots, peas, beans, rice cereal, wheat cereal, oat cereal, soups with everything and do you know what they absolutely gobble down? - SPAGHETTI! Just like Gordon. They also love MacDonald's french fries, naturally. Anyway I'm quite frustrated with them trying to get decent food in them. I definitely think Natalie will be a "cornflakes and bananas" kid!
We have booked our vacation and I have a surprise - Jackie and Alistair are going with us! They are coming to San Francisco May 9 and the 4 of us will leave for Maui on May 12 returning on May 20. They will head back to England on May 23. It should be fun to spend some time with Jackie and meet Alistair.
I have arranged with Nadia to come every other day between 4-8pm to give you a hand. She is also available every day if we feel you might need her. It is very likely that you will and it will be $100 bucks well spent for your (and our) mental health. Plus I've got a full week arranged for Jillie too, to ease the pressure on you.
We are discussing plans for the birthday bash. I think it will be a combination "spring party" and birthday party. There is a chance that my sister Sandy and Lisa might be here too.
Gordon continues to be busy. He finished the academy last Tuesday night HOORAY! We are going to the final dinner next Saturday. By the way, we just LOVE Nadia and so does Jillie. We have been to two movies in the last few weeks thanks to Nadia and we are going out to dinner next Friday, the Academy dinner Saturday; a baby shower (dinner) the following weekend and a wedding the weekend after that. It's great to have somebody we really trust. We left the house last night with all three girls up and Nadia did just great. Thank you Jesus!
Well I hear the little ones stirring from their naps. And I need to quit the marathon cartoon viewing that Jillie is in the middle of! So I'll talk to you soon Isa - our love to you.
Sharon
_______________________________________________________
October 3, 1993
Dear Isa,
I really enjoyed our conversation earlier today. I miss you. I'm glad you have found your old friend again. You didn't tell me her name. I'll bet you had a lot of catching up to do . Needless to say, you have probably had the most interesting news to tell her about your travels and, oh yeah, your grandchildren. Have you bored her with a thousand pictures?
Speaking of pictures, I've included a new batch. As you know, Jillian has started her horseback riding lessons. All of the pictures enclosed are of her first lesson. Her teacher, Irene (my moms name) is really nice. She's soft spoken, gentle yet very cowgirly and she makes Jillie really at ease around the horses. Jillian rides an old 20 year horse named Moe. Irene is teaching her to groom the horse with a curry comb, brushes and a s special brush for his tail. Jillian like to brush the tail the best. she also has her carry the saddle from the barn and put it on the horse and the bridle also. Then she leads him to the pasture for her lesson. She's taken 4 lessons, she's learning to post and really control the horse. Irene thinks she's doing well and was very impressed that she didn't cry when thrown from the horse and got right back on. Gordon and I were proud of her too.
There are also two pictures from her first day at school. As you can see, she's letting her bangs grow out. It's a constant battle because they are driving me crazy hanging in her eyes but she looks very cute with her forehead showing off those big eyes.
By the way, Natalie's nose has finally healed. It's still a little red in places but I think it will be okay. I cut the twins hair the other night to just below their ears. Basically I cut off the scraggly stuff. They look really cute. Alison's hair hangs just like mine and Natty's has a little bend at the end. I think they like the cut, they seem to have a new way of walking around kind of shaking their heads and admiring themselves in the mirror!
As I said, splitting them up again seems to have been a good idea. It was Gordon's. They both seem to like having their own space and know that the room they are in is their very own. One of their favorite things to do is throw Jillie out of their rooms (especially Alison) as if they are tying to get Jillie back for all the times she threw them out of hers! Serves her right - it doesn't make Jillian very happy though. Anyway, as I said, we've put the closet doors back on, they look great, and moved the large toys around. In Alison's room is the kitchen set against the wall where Natty's bed used to be, a rocking chair and one of the small bookcases and other things put away in her closet. I've even separated their clothes and shoes. Natalie's room has the dollhouse, the little plastic table and chairs that were outside, a rocking chair and a bookcase. I have crayons and color books (Barney, of course) on the table and so far they are using the table as a work area. Sometimes they will go back there by themselves to color quietly (believe it or not) or go in Alison's room to play with the kitchen set, now that it's more accessible. Natalie's room (the old guest room) is really cute with children's artwork and her name on the walls and Mickie and Minnie. I'll yank what's left of the wallpaper from Alison's room this winter. While I was stripping Jillian's room the little ones got the idea that their room needed stripping too and started pulling the wallpaper off. Oh well.
I don't want you to feel there is no room for you now Isa, that will never be true. We all knew eventually we'd have to go the route of separate rooms for the girls. It seems fair. We have had several discussions about what we would do when you come. As I said Jillian said you could sleep in her room and she'd sleep on the floor. She wanted to sleep in our room but we quickly told her she could sleep in Alison's room! I had this idea. I didn't talk to you on the phone about it because I was sure you'd say no, but I want you to think about it and let me know how you feel. If you don't like the idea, feel free to tell me so. I thought you might like to stay at Jimmy's for part of the time you are here. That way you won't have to get up early or go to bed early because the kids get up so early. If you don't feel well one day or would like to just lay around one day without being bothered you could do it. My schedule in the mornings now is get Jillian out the door at 9:00am then go to the health club with the twins. When I'm done I can come up and get you. On the days the twins are in school I'd come get you earlier if you wish, and we could run errands without them. If you wanted to stay here one night or many we could do that too. It's an opportunity for you to have a private space and alone time if you want it without being bombarded by our family 24 hours a day. Gordon and I both think it can work and we do not feel it an imposition to drive to Danville to get you and you could leave as early or late as you like. Anyway, it's something to think about. Of course, we haven't talked to anyone about this, ie., Jimmy or Ella. It's just an idea open for discussion. Enough said.
The girls decided to be a "tribe"for Halloween. I made Indian costumes for them. They look so cute. And the moccasins I brought from Utah on my way back from Virginia are perfect. Jillian wants me to make costumes for Gordon and I too. Gordon might look good as a tribal leader! We'll see.
Any ideas on what you'd like for Christmas? I've been looking around but if there is something specific, let me know. We were going to get you that watch but you blew that idea! Anyway suggestion would be helpful.
Well that's all for now. Time to put the little ones to bed. Take care and I'll talk to you soon. Enjoy the pictures. By the way, Jillie's school picture should be coming out soon. She let me roll her hair and put a bow in it. She looked like a model, even other mothers told me how beautiful she looked. And she's still got all her teeth! It should be a great picture.
Think of you - Sharon and all
_________________________________________________________
LAST LETTER DATED December 14,2000
Dear Isa,
Gordon's running out the door and I want him to mail these so I'll be brief.
These pictures were taken at Ron's Cabin mid-November. 7 inches of snow!
Also pictures of Sox and Jake. Sox has white fur and is Natty's baby!
Also....Halloween! Jillie was a flapper (won 1st prize at school for best costume), Alison, well, let's just say her costume suits her moods these days! (Ali went as a witch that year!) And Natalie was a very cute hippie. A woman after my own heart! Let's just hope she doesn't discover P O T!
Love you,
Sharon
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Letters to Isa - October 29, 1990
Dear Isa,
Gordon said you called the other day and you were concerned about our finances. Gordon and I think we've pretty much got ourselves covered. It won't be easy, you're right about that but with every one's help, I think we'll be okay.
First off, I have to quit work in my 28th week which is about the end of February. However, the State of California provides disability insurance for pregnant women and women who must leave work due to pregnancy. This will amount to over $1,000 per month. On top of that I am closing an escrow with Joe, my boss, which will be for almost $8,000. That money and the disability, which I will be able to get for 4 or more months will enable me to contribute the same monthly amount to the household budget as if I were working for 6 months. We figure our expenses should go down with my not working too and I'm thinking about keeping Jillian home all summer, provided I have in-house help all summer.
Gordon's schooling should be complete just at the time the babies are due and so he'll be able to focus more on real estate and find a permanent job. Once he has a permanent position with a fire department, he will be earning upwards of $3,000 a month. And if he can pull off a real estate transaction once every two or three months, we will be fine. I have my broker's license and will be able to do a lot of the "crap" that he doesn't like to do from home.
On top of this, I am working on putting together a business I can conduct from our house. Jim (the former husband) and I might do something together which could be pretty profitable for both of us. We have both worked in the trust deed business in the past and are considering starting a business together. One can easily buy and sell trust deeds from your home without much start-up money. Anyway, we are in the talking-about-it stages right now. I could always do word processing from my home and easily earn a $1,000 a month or more.
So see, there isn't anything to worry about. We will be cutting back but it will be good for us. I certainly don't want to be the cause of your high blood pressure please!
I will be nursing the babies and we are using cloth diapers entirely, so that will save us literally hundreds a month (diapers and formula would run about $100 each a month!) Plus being home I will be better able to plan for dinners, instead of going out so often, and I'm hoping we'll have a great garden again.
I think this will be the plan for help when the babies are born, however, no real commitments have been made except for yours. My Dad and his wife, Betty, might be able to come out the end of April when the babies are born. Betty said she might be able to stay until my sister Sandy gets here. Sandy would stay for some time but I don't know how long. There might be a gap in between where I wouldn't have live-in help, but Rhonda and Katie have both said they will help. Rhonda said she'd even spend the night. Sandy's daughter, Lisa, might be able to work out spending all of July and most of August with us. She is suppose to do some volunteer work this summer to help with college entrance. She's checking with her counselor to see if working for us would suffice. Then if you could come the middle of August and stay two months I'd have coverage for the first six months of their lives and by then I'd hope to have some sort of routine established! Hopefully by the time you arrive they wouldn't need a night nursing, but because they will be smaller and probably weaker than Jillian, I doubt that will be the case.
This weekend we began the process of getting rid of everything in the house we don't really need or use. I think we'll have a garage sale in the next few weeks. Our bedroom is now a combination office. We moved the desk from the living room in and the computer. Actually it looks just fine. The ottoman and chair from our room I think will go in the babies room or possibly your room if I can work it out. We took the little dresser from Jillie's closet out and gave it back to Rhonda and Mark. Now Jillie can get most all of her toys into her closet herself and keep her room neat and tidy. She helped me clean her room and I think she likes it a lot. Now she has room for all those Christmas toys! Next weekend we're clearing out Gordon's office completely and bringing the crib in. I think we'll put the bookcase in the living room in one of those odd places on either side of the fireplace. And we've removed the side table from the family room and put it in your room and took the cheap little table with the table cloth apart and put it in storage. That leaves room in the family room to add the play pen by the family room door when we need it.
I kept the curtains from Jillie's room at the condo and they will go better in the babies room than in her old room. I'm going to order another set of bumpers and comforter the same as Jillie's for the other crib. It is still in stock believe it or not. The wall paper for the room will be cheap and we may need to touch up the paint but that's no big deal. Then we'll be done. Actually, the house looks less crowded already and I think the space requirement will be just fine.
On Saturday my friend Pam and her little girl Jessie, came down and Rhonda and Marie and Jillie and I went to see a marching band parade on Main Street. Later Gordon, Jillie and I went to Tyler's Halloween birthday party. Jillie makes a great Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Jim bought her a little basket and her Toto dog (formerly Jacques) fit in just right. She will wear her costume to school on Wednesday for a big Halloween costume parade and, of course, out trick-or-treating on Wednesday night. She will be a nut for the next month devouring all that candy. I don't look forward to it.
I guess that's all for now. I just wanted you not to worry about Gordon and I. We are both bright and competent and will work things out one way or another.
We are all looking forward to seeing you in December. I'm really glad you'll be here for Christmas. It makes our Christmas so much more special. See you then.
Love from Sharon
P.S. Just popped home for lunch to see Gordon and Jillie. Gordon got word that he passed the Castro Valley fire test. He must take the physical ability test this Saturday. If he passes that, he's guaranteed an interview. Castro Valley has 6 positions available. I think Gordon's chances are pretty good.
Gordon said you called the other day and you were concerned about our finances. Gordon and I think we've pretty much got ourselves covered. It won't be easy, you're right about that but with every one's help, I think we'll be okay.
First off, I have to quit work in my 28th week which is about the end of February. However, the State of California provides disability insurance for pregnant women and women who must leave work due to pregnancy. This will amount to over $1,000 per month. On top of that I am closing an escrow with Joe, my boss, which will be for almost $8,000. That money and the disability, which I will be able to get for 4 or more months will enable me to contribute the same monthly amount to the household budget as if I were working for 6 months. We figure our expenses should go down with my not working too and I'm thinking about keeping Jillian home all summer, provided I have in-house help all summer.
Gordon's schooling should be complete just at the time the babies are due and so he'll be able to focus more on real estate and find a permanent job. Once he has a permanent position with a fire department, he will be earning upwards of $3,000 a month. And if he can pull off a real estate transaction once every two or three months, we will be fine. I have my broker's license and will be able to do a lot of the "crap" that he doesn't like to do from home.
On top of this, I am working on putting together a business I can conduct from our house. Jim (the former husband) and I might do something together which could be pretty profitable for both of us. We have both worked in the trust deed business in the past and are considering starting a business together. One can easily buy and sell trust deeds from your home without much start-up money. Anyway, we are in the talking-about-it stages right now. I could always do word processing from my home and easily earn a $1,000 a month or more.
So see, there isn't anything to worry about. We will be cutting back but it will be good for us. I certainly don't want to be the cause of your high blood pressure please!
I will be nursing the babies and we are using cloth diapers entirely, so that will save us literally hundreds a month (diapers and formula would run about $100 each a month!) Plus being home I will be better able to plan for dinners, instead of going out so often, and I'm hoping we'll have a great garden again.
I think this will be the plan for help when the babies are born, however, no real commitments have been made except for yours. My Dad and his wife, Betty, might be able to come out the end of April when the babies are born. Betty said she might be able to stay until my sister Sandy gets here. Sandy would stay for some time but I don't know how long. There might be a gap in between where I wouldn't have live-in help, but Rhonda and Katie have both said they will help. Rhonda said she'd even spend the night. Sandy's daughter, Lisa, might be able to work out spending all of July and most of August with us. She is suppose to do some volunteer work this summer to help with college entrance. She's checking with her counselor to see if working for us would suffice. Then if you could come the middle of August and stay two months I'd have coverage for the first six months of their lives and by then I'd hope to have some sort of routine established! Hopefully by the time you arrive they wouldn't need a night nursing, but because they will be smaller and probably weaker than Jillian, I doubt that will be the case.
This weekend we began the process of getting rid of everything in the house we don't really need or use. I think we'll have a garage sale in the next few weeks. Our bedroom is now a combination office. We moved the desk from the living room in and the computer. Actually it looks just fine. The ottoman and chair from our room I think will go in the babies room or possibly your room if I can work it out. We took the little dresser from Jillie's closet out and gave it back to Rhonda and Mark. Now Jillie can get most all of her toys into her closet herself and keep her room neat and tidy. She helped me clean her room and I think she likes it a lot. Now she has room for all those Christmas toys! Next weekend we're clearing out Gordon's office completely and bringing the crib in. I think we'll put the bookcase in the living room in one of those odd places on either side of the fireplace. And we've removed the side table from the family room and put it in your room and took the cheap little table with the table cloth apart and put it in storage. That leaves room in the family room to add the play pen by the family room door when we need it.
I kept the curtains from Jillie's room at the condo and they will go better in the babies room than in her old room. I'm going to order another set of bumpers and comforter the same as Jillie's for the other crib. It is still in stock believe it or not. The wall paper for the room will be cheap and we may need to touch up the paint but that's no big deal. Then we'll be done. Actually, the house looks less crowded already and I think the space requirement will be just fine.
On Saturday my friend Pam and her little girl Jessie, came down and Rhonda and Marie and Jillie and I went to see a marching band parade on Main Street. Later Gordon, Jillie and I went to Tyler's Halloween birthday party. Jillie makes a great Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Jim bought her a little basket and her Toto dog (formerly Jacques) fit in just right. She will wear her costume to school on Wednesday for a big Halloween costume parade and, of course, out trick-or-treating on Wednesday night. She will be a nut for the next month devouring all that candy. I don't look forward to it.
I guess that's all for now. I just wanted you not to worry about Gordon and I. We are both bright and competent and will work things out one way or another.
We are all looking forward to seeing you in December. I'm really glad you'll be here for Christmas. It makes our Christmas so much more special. See you then.
Love from Sharon
P.S. Just popped home for lunch to see Gordon and Jillie. Gordon got word that he passed the Castro Valley fire test. He must take the physical ability test this Saturday. If he passes that, he's guaranteed an interview. Castro Valley has 6 positions available. I think Gordon's chances are pretty good.
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