You've Got to Take the Bad with the Good - 2014

My last blog update was almost a year ago and we were still in Scotland.  It's hard to imagine that time has gone by so quickly and I've not touched this blog format or frankly, even thought about it since then.  But it's almost time for Gordon and I to take off again and an update is in order.

This year has been so different and difficult in many respects.  Mostly it's been hard so let me tell you what has happened.

When we left Scotland last year we were looking at two weeks back in California until Jillian would be moving back in.  After three years in Manhattan, Jillie decided in late Fall 2013 to quit her editing job in New York and work exclusively on her film Trichster.  Additionally I think the pressure of working in NY and the weather had just finally gotten to her and the more casual atmosphere and beautiful climate here in northern California was a bit more appealing.  She had just had a 6 week vacation in Scotland (though she was working throughout) and had joined us during our two week Baltic Cruise which was F A N T A S T I C!!

So Jillian flew in on the 19th of October looking frazzled and relieved to have arrived.  The reason she was frazzeled?  She had just traveled 6 hours by plane, 2 hours by car and numerous hours hanging around the airport in NY and in San Francisco waiting for baggage with her little, very upset friend in tow.  Her little girl kitty and our new house cat, Sasha!  Sasha took little time adjusting to her new residence and got on great with Sox and Natalie's other cat, Gerdy.

Sasha shortly after arriving in California.

We spent a pleasant Fall here in Pleasanton and awaited Alison's arrival at Christmas anticipating our family vacation in Hawaii for New Year's.  We hadn't been in Hawaii with all three girls since 2007 I think and we were all excited to plop down on the beach and do a lot of nothing.  We spent 3 nights in South Maui sunning and boogie boarding before heading up to Kaanapali and our timeshare for another week.

We arrive on New Year's Day and have a bottle of wine on the beach to watch the sunset.

Hammocking at the Maui Ocean Club!  A tradition of the girls.

On our last day in Maui I got an early morning call from one of the guys helping to take care of our house and Natalie's cat Sox.  The devastating news was that Sox had passed away during the night and they found him curled up looking like he was asleep when they arrived at our home in the morning.   Sox was not ill and had not been ill.  He was only 13 and seemed perfectly fine when we left.  Needless to say his passing was a horrible shock to us all but mostly to Natalie.  Our fun trip to Hawaii ended on a very sad note and our trip home was long and miserable.  We arrived home around midnight and Gordon and I got to work digging a grave for Sox in one of his favorite spots in our garden and we all laid him to rest about 1:00 a.m. the last night of our vacation.

Sox loved sitting in little boxes!

Just a couple of weeks later in early February my sister, Sandy, called me to tell me she was having some heart problems. Sandy is my older sister by only 2 1/2 years and has always been healthy and fit.  After some discussion with her daughter, Lisa, who is a research Dr. I decided to go back to Virginia to see her and my dad who also had not been feeling well for several months.  It had been more than a year since I had been home and had seen any of my family.

Sadly my Dad's condition was deteriorating due to his Stage 4 prostate cancer that he had had for 5 years. It had metastasized into his bones.  Still he always managed to smile and make a valiant effort to talk and seem engaged even when he wasn't feeling well.  This time though he was in bed a lot and spoke for the first time in my life he spoke of being "ready to go".   I went to see him almost every day and did some cleaning and organizing and shopping for him in between visits.

Sandy's condition wasn't so hot either.  It turns out that she has a congenital heart defect which is a leaking heart valve and she has sustained heart wall damage from apparently 2 or 3 small heart attacks throughout the years.  The heart wall damage makes her heart valve inoperable and she is being treated effectively with several heart medications that she must take for the rest of her life.  It was a very scary time to be back home with her.  She had to wear a cardiac vest in case she had a heart attack and not do anything.....drive, stairs, walk too much, etc.  She spent most of our time together resting and we watched a lot of movies and the whole Downtown Abbey series!  The one bright spot!  Most of my time was spent cooking and visiting with nieces and nephews and cousins which is always fun.

The winter weather was FREEZING and horrible.  Everything was covered in ice.

I returned home to have a quick 27th anniversary celebration with Gordon in early March.  We went to San Francisco on a bright and sunny weekend and literally walked the city for two days and dined in some great restaurants.  A welcome break after my very cold visit in Virginia.

A week later on March 10 my dad, Paul, passed peacefully surrounded by all his family except me. He was 87 years young.  Anybody who has lost a parent knows how that feels.  We all knew it was coming but you are never prepared even when you know he is in a better place and at peace without pain and suffering. Still.......

Our dad shortly after his stroke three years ago.

The next day was my 59th birthday and Gordon, Jillian and I hiked the ridge above Pleasanton and snapped this picture.  I kept thinking all day how lucky I was to have had my dad be a part of mine and my family's lives for so many years.  How many people get to be almost 59 and still have their parents?  We spent the rest of the day quietly in our backyard telling stories of dad and reminiscing.

Jill, me and Gordon on a beautiful March day.

The family agreed to wait until the end of May for Dad's service since our girls are both in college until the third week of May and many people would want to come to his service from out of state. Additionally, he was to be interred at Arlington National Cemetery and that would take some time to have his service scheduled with them.  And because Sandy was Dad's trustee, that would allow her some time to file all the necessary paperwork and arrange a memorial service for Dad.

So in April our twins, Natalie and Alison, turned 23.  Since Ali was in New York and would be meeting us in Virginia for Dad's service, we decided to take a side trip up to see her in Manhattan and celebrate her birthday.  Natalie decided she wanted to spend a night in Napa for her 23rd, so Gordon, Jill, Natalie and I went up wine tasting for two days.  We had a blast but the weather was HOT!  So the evening in Napa we walking into Calistoga for some spicy Thai food and then back to the hotel for cooling off in the pool!  It was a wonderful, short trip.

At St. Clement Winery.

In the meantime we heard the wonderful news that Alison's short experimental film Erased (click on name to watch) won second place at the CUNY Film Festival in New York.  We are all so proud of Ali and it's cool to have an award winning film maker in our family!  The first of many we hope!

Alison on the "red carpet" after winning her film award.

Ali is into her final semester of school!  YAY!  We have made our last college tuition payment for Alison ever and eagerly await what great things she will be doing with her life.  She has just recently changed jobs earning a little more money and has taken an internship which might lead to a better, full time position.  Ali will probably stay in New York a few more years.  She's already been there two.  Upon graduation she will come home and we will again head to Hawaii for a celebration!

Just before we left to go back to Virginia for Dad's service in May I went to the dermatologist to have a suspicious small lump under my skin above my lip checked out.  It had been there for some time but didn't hurt, wasn't discolored, hadn't really changed and seemed like an ingrown hair or old scar or buried zit. After two biopsies, it turns out it was Basel Cell Carcinoma.  There are two ways to treat a Basel Cell cancer.  One is to perform Moh's surgery on the cancer carefully cutting away the area until there are clean margins.  Because of the placement and size of the cancer on my face the surgical site would be about the size of a quarter.  Meaning a hole in my face about the size of a quarter.  A difficult place to close and make look good.  The second treatment involves radiating the site.  That's called SRT or Superficial Radiotherapy.   The treatment results are the same, about 98% result either way and it's a less invasive procedure.  It just takes longer.  13 sessions of radiation over 6 1/2 weeks, 2 times a week.  I decided to go with the SRT and wait until I returned from Virginia and New York to start treatment.

Jillian had recently started a new job and had scheduled a trip to NY for a wedding and Trichster meetings for late June, so Gordon, Natalie and I took off to meet Alison in Virginia for Dad's Memorial service.

It's weird to say we had a good time in VA considering we were there to pay respect to my Dad and lay him to rest but it was so nice to be with all the family and the service for Dad was wonderful.  There was laughter and tears; great music courtesy of Emory (sister Shirley's husband) and his band and a nice turn out for Dad's service and a wonderful Virginia BBQ meal afterwards with family and friends.  The only person missing was Dad.  He would have loved having everyone together and eating a BBQ pork sandwich!  Family was everything to Dad.

Three days later the service in Arlington National Cemetery took place.  I had never been to a service of full military honors.  It was very moving.  There was an honor guard of 7 plus the lone Bugler who played taps, a firing party and the Chaplain.  Quite an honor and I know my Dad would have been so very happy.  He is now laid to rest with his wife Betty who passed back in 2004.

We said goodbye to our family and after two nights in D.C. we caught the train up to New York to spend a few days with Alison.  Gordon and I stayed on Central Park South while Natalie stayed with her sister in her apartment.  We walked the Park and ate at some great restaurants.  The first night we went out to the restaurant of choice for Ali to celebrate her birthday.

An early morning walk in Central Park.

It was a beautiful day....check out that sky!

On the last night in town we went to the Kantra Film Festival where Ali's film was entered.  No win this time but her film was one of the more entertaining films.  Guess I just don't get the experimental aspect of film!

Jay, Ali's boyfriend, Natalie and Alison bravely stand during a subway ride! I sit thank you!

Alison fielding questions after the Kantra Film Festival.  The gal standing next to her won the festival.  She was from Italy.  They were the only two women writer/directors presenting.

So we returned to California.  I had my 13 sessions of radiation and I go see the Doctor next week for a follow up.  Hopefully I'm done.  I decided to lay low this summer while going through treatment as I have a sizable burned spot on my face which is slowly beginning to fade now.

Jillian and her team for Trichster have "picture locked" the Trichster film and are waiting for the finalization of the score, color, sound and graphics.  Their goal is to "hit" the festival circuit by October 1.  It's Jillie's news to share but I will tell you that she has been contacted by a major network television news magazine. You can be sure Jillian (and me too!) will let everyone know when more news becomes available about the TV contact.  We are thrilled for Jillian and the Trichster team for their successes with the film and this upcoming television exposure will be very good for them and the Trichotillomania community.  

Tee shirt anyone?

Jillie and boyfriend Liam!  Two serious filmmakers.

Gordon has been busy this year.....not as crazy as last year and we have enjoyed having two of our girls back home for a while.  It's certainly different from the last 5 years when we were empty nesting.  Our food and wine bill are up considerably!

Gordon was very excited to return to playing golf this year after his knee surgery last year.  AND, he has finally won back the Scottish Cup trophy after relinquishing it 3 years ago!  Well done Gordon!!!

This drought in California is very scary.  We are on mandatory rationing of 25%.  We take showers over 5 gallon buckets conserving the water to pour on our sad garden.  I've pulled lots of plants out of the garden and cut back foliage as much as I can.  It's hard to watch our garden wilt but we have our priorities.....like keeping our pool filled and running!  We are praying for a VERY RAINY winter.

Gordon in Napa in April.

I'm still hanging out with my Bunko girlfriends and having a good time.  Some of us have started a supper club and meet once a month if possible to cook together and enjoy good food and wine together.

The Bunko girls last Christmas!

MaryJane and I at her birthday this year.

MaryJane and Katy and I having some fun!

The supper club girls; Peggy, Dora, me (looking weird as usual!) Katy and Shar!

Natalie is in her final year of her BFA Animation Program and looking forward to being done!  She won the top honor at the end of the school year last year for her film "Home" which was FABULOUS!  She's so talented.  Oh, and after the sad passing of Sox earlier in the year, Natalie decided she wanted a new kitty so upon her return from New York we added a new little creature to our family.  Theodore Lawrence!

The first time Natalie and Theodore met!

Teddy in the garden last week.

So despite the deaths and health scares of the past year we are all hanging in there and doing well. Things could have been a lot worse obviously and we recognize that.  There are a lot of people in the world who are not as fortunate as we are.

In just under two weeks time Gordon and I along with the Scottish Cup are leaving for our annual trek to Scotland and we are really really looking forward to this year's vacation.  Gordon needs this break in the worst way!  Our trip will take us to Ireland, Wales and briefly to England this year.  We plan to explore more of the Highlands and the East Coast of Scotland also.

For me personally, I look forward to water!  Tons of it!  Rain!  Rain everyday possibly!  A shower in the morning and a bath in the afternoon will be in order for me!  I will use as much of Scotland and Ireland's water as possible!

Stayed tuned!